Flashback 15 years ago....

In celebration of Mothers day and My little angels birthday ...they come together...few days a part
This day fifteen years ago I was wheeled into the operation theater and as I blinked at the bright lights overhead I panicked as I saw masked faces peering at me and patting me on my arm asking me to relax.One of the nurses whispered she is scared and as I shook my head I slipped into oblivion...to wake up in pain as I cursed and demanded to know who the baby resembled ...not my out laws oops in laws i said.

The room was brimming with my family as they looked on in worry as I had a difficult pregnancy.My doctor had warned it could be me, the baby or both of us would not make it thru as I had developed a condition called toxemia ...that is high blood pressure during gestation period and high protein in urine and the bloating of the body. I had gained 30kgs and looked like a bloated balloon.My feet had swollen three sizes bigger and I was as a doctor uncle called in distress...

I had to be in bed rest and not do anything which would raise my blood pressure.No reading ,no thinking ,just be happy my doctor advised,As my body turned blue black from lying down and my mind on distress mode I saw my life in tatters and no hope or faith in anything and here i was bringing another being into this world.God was trusting me and giving me custody of a little angel and I was doubtful if I was up to it.Hey ram i prayed what is this you were doing to my sanity I screamed inside me. As my daily companion was only tears and more tears.

Going to my doctors wasa torture as I stood out like a sore thumb (more likea bloated thumb) ,with all my weigh gain and also with the absence of my life partner as he should have been with me during this tiring time. I saw a lot of couples holding hands and in waiting room brimming with happiness and anticipation of a new member in their young family. If the mother to be moaned a little the husband would look on in concern and ask " sweetheart are you ok ..shall i call the nurse ?"I at alone im the corner and watched ...like a movie

And as i sailed in and out of the hospital after enforced bed rest one sunday I had to have an emergency Cesarean as my pressure was up and baby was not growing.So out she came early sunday morning 7th of may 1995 ...and she was in the neo natal ICU and in an incubator for observation as she was under weight.MY doctor whispered we did not expect her weigh to be so low ...let us observe her...she smiled

As my pressure came down and my weight disappeared miraculously ...I came home within five days ,,,,leaving my baby in ICU ....the next sunday was mothers day...I rushed to the ICU to spend my first mothers day with my little angel and as i whispered to her my promise to take care of her and to protect with all my might ..whatever might happen in the years to come , my tears rolled down and touched her little cheeks and my little angel opened her eyes and smiled at me ......Happy birthday my little angel ..these fifteen years have been Wonder and you have been a great source of comfort and love in my life ....I hope I have justified gods trust in me when he placed you in my care .....

As you step into your teen years , life will be a great challenge emotionally but always remember I am here to guide you and there is higher being watching over his little angels ....

Love you harini ........havea great day ....